Equilibrium · Free guide for staff
Tricky questions
Calm, honest answers to the hard questions pupils ask about life online, by age group, with clear guidance on when to involve your DSL.
For the questions that stop you in your tracks
Pupils ask hard questions about what they see online: influencers, nudes, deepfakes, pornography and more. This guide gives staff calm, honest, age-appropriate ways to answer, what might be behind the question, and when to involve your Designated Safeguarding Lead.
Every answer has been checked by the Equilibrium team. Use them as a starting point in your own words.
Safeguarding comes first
- Always follow your school’s safeguarding and child protection policy.
- If a question turns into a disclosure, listen, reassure, don’t promise secrecy, and tell your DSL straight away.
- If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
- Never view, copy or share a nude or sexual image of a child.
Useful routes: CEOP · Report Remove (Childline and IWF) · Childline 0800 1111
That influencer says men should be in charge and women should do what they’re told. Isn’t he just being honest?
What might be behind it
Pupils may be repeating content their feed has pushed to them, testing how adults react, or looking for a role model who seems confident and successful. Misogynistic content is often recommended to boys who watch fitness, gaming or money-making videos.
Years 5–6
Some people online say shocking things because shocking things get views, and views make them money. At our school everyone is treated with the same respect, whether they are a boy or a girl. What do you think makes someone a good person to look up to?
Years 7–9
It’s worth asking why he says it. Content that makes people angry gets more likes, shares and comments, and that earns money. Being strong isn’t about controlling other people; it’s about how you treat them. What is it about him that people like? Is there anyone else with those qualities who doesn’t put others down?
Years 10–13
Let’s look at it critically: who benefits from this message, and how? A lot of this content works by speaking to real worries, about money, status or relationships, and then offering a simple answer that blames women. You can take those worries seriously without accepting that answer. Equality isn’t about one group losing out; it’s about everyone having the same respect and choices.
Speak to your DSL if…
Record it in line with your behaviour and safeguarding policy if it is repeated, aimed at girls or staff, or part of a pattern of harassment. Speak to your DSL the same day if a pupil expresses hatred, talks about violence towards women, or shows signs of being drawn into extremist or ‘incel’ ideas (Prevent duty).
Try to avoid
Mocking the pupil or the people they follow, or simply banning the topic: it can push them further towards the content. Avoid lecturing; ask questions and listen first.
Checked by the Equilibrium team, 4 Oct 2026
Is it OK to be gay?
What might be behind it
Pupils may be asking for themselves, for someone they know, or because they’ve heard it used as an insult.
Years 5–6
Yes. Some people love someone of the same sex, and some families have two mums or two dads. At our school, everyone is welcome and treated with kindness.
Years 7–9
Yes. Being gay, lesbian or bisexual is a normal part of human diversity, and it’s against the law to treat people unfairly because of their sexuality. Using ‘gay’ as an insult hurts people, even if it’s meant as a joke.
Years 10–13
Yes. Sexual orientation is part of who someone is, it’s protected in UK equality law, and people should feel safe to be themselves at school. If anyone is being treated badly because of their sexuality, tell someone.
Usually a classroom conversation
Usually a classroom conversation. Speak to your DSL if a pupil is being bullied, seems distressed, or shares something about their home situation that worries you.
Try to avoid
Asking the pupil about their own sexuality, or sharing anything they tell you with others without good reason.
Checked by the Equilibrium team, 4 Oct 2026
No questions match. Try another word, or send us the question and we’ll consider adding it.
Want your staff to feel confident with these conversations?
Equilibrium training helps staff handle sensitive topics, answer tricky questions and run the participatory lessons encouraged by the 2025 RSHE guidance.