Blackmail and shame - The record rise in "sextortion"
- Mark Lloyd
- May 7
- 5 min read
Updated: May 11
There is a safeguarding story unfolding in plain sight — and too many adults are still missing it.
When we talk about online sexual harm, the conversation often still centres on girls, harmful content and damaging influencers.
That risk remains real.
But it is no longer the whole picture.
Why we need to talk to boys about sextortion now
A growing number of children are being targeted online through sexual coercion, manipulation and blackmail — and most of them are boys.
This matters because it challenges one of the most persistent blind spots in online safeguarding: the assumption that boys are more likely to be the ones causing harm than experiencing it.
Right now, that assumption is leaving too many boys unprotected.
A record year for sextortion
In April, the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) warned that 2025-26 was a record year for reports of online sextortion involving children in the UK.
According to the IWF, the number of reports from young people seeking help from the UK’s Report Remove helpline has risen 66% in a year.
2025 saw 1,894 reports from children and young people reporting nude or sexual imagery of themselves. 1175 of these reports were confirmed cases of child sexual abuse imagery.
On average nine reports per week were from children seeking help after being sexually extorted online
What is "sextortion"?
The MET police define ‘Sextortion' as a type of online blackmail.
It's when criminals threaten to share sexual pictures, videos, or information about you unless you pay money or do something else you don’t want to.
Anyone can be a victim of sextortion. However, young people aged between 15 to 17, and adults aged under 30, are often most at risk.
“Criminals are casting their nets wide and are able to corner young people with the most violent and terrifying threats. They employ emotional manipulation and use intimidating, aggressive language and threats that escalate rapidly after nudes are taken. “Victims are told to send money or gift cards, or risk having their images distributed to family members, friends, schools or posted publicly online. (Kerry Smith, Chief Executive of the IWF)
Why boys are being missed
In 2025, boys, especially those aged 14-17 accounted for 98% of all reports involving sexually coerced extortion.
Many parents and school staff still hold an outdated mental model of online sexual harm.
It often looks something like this:
girls are pressured for images;
boys ask for them;
the main risk is poor judgement;
the solution is telling children not to send anything.
But sextortion does not work like that.
Sextortion is not primarily about impulsive decision-making. It is about coercion.
It often begins with what looks like ordinary online interaction:
a direct message,
A child is contacted privately by someone they may not know or may only loosely recognise from a platform. It can feel personal and low-risk, which is exactly why it is commonly used to begin grooming or coercion.
a flirtatious exchange
Seemingly playful or romantic messages that create a sense of connection or attention. This can lower a child’s guard and make them more likely to share personal information or images.
a fake account
A profile created by someone pretending to be another person, often using stolen images or false details. These accounts are designed to build trust or credibility while hiding the real identity and intent of the person behind them.
a request to move platforms
Someone will encourage a child to continue the conversation on a different app or service. This is often done to avoid moderation, reduce visibility, and increase control over the interaction.
a moment of curiosity
A child is drawn in by something unfamiliar, exciting, or attention-grabbing online. This curiosity can lead them to engage further without fully understanding the risks involved.
a moment of trust
A child begins to believe the other person is safe, genuine, or caring. This trust can develop quickly online and is often exploited to encourage disclosure or compliance.
Then the tone shifts.
A child is encouraged to share an image. Sometimes they are manipulated into doing so.
Then the threat begins.
More images. Money. Compliance. Silence.
And very quickly, shame becomes part of the abuse.
This is why so many children do not disclose early. Not because they do not understand risk. But because by the time they realise what is happening, they are frightened, embarrassed and trying to contain it alone.
Why this matters for schools
For schools, sextortion is not just an online safety issue.
It is a safeguarding issue.
And increasingly, it needs to be understood as part of a wider pattern of technology-facilitated harmful sexual behaviour.
That matters because sextortion sits at the intersection of:
online grooming,
coercive sexual behaviour,
image-based abuse,
shame-based control,
exploitation through threat.
This is one of the clearest examples we have of how sexual harm is changing in digitally mediated environments.
It is no longer enough to think about harmful sexual behaviour only in terms of in-person contact.
Schools now need to recognise:
image-based harmful sexual behaviour,
coercive digital sexual behaviour,
technology-facilitated sexual harm,
as central safeguarding concerns in their own right.
These harms may begin online. But they do not stay there.
They affect behaviour in school, relationships between peers, emotional wellbeing, trust, disclosure and safety.
What schools need to do differently
This is where schools need to move beyond older messaging.
“Don’t send nudes” is not a safeguarding strategy.
It is too simplistic for the reality children are navigating, and too blunt for the shame many feel once coercion begins.
A stronger response starts with three shifts.
1. Stop treating this as an IT issue
Sextortion is not primarily about devices, apps or screen time.
It is about coercion, shame, power and abuse.
That means it belongs in safeguarding, pastoral care and RSHE — not only in filtering systems or one-off online safety assemblies.
2. Start talking to boys as potential victims
Schools are often more comfortable speaking to boys about harmful behaviour than vulnerability.
That needs to change.
Boys need clear, direct messages that:
this can happen to them,
manipulation is not the same as consent,
shame is part of how coercion works,
they can ask for help early,
they will not be punished for disclosing.
That conversation cannot begin after something has gone wrong.
3. Make disclosure easier
The biggest barrier to disclosure in sextortion is often not risk. It is shame.
Children need to know:
they will be taken seriously,
they will not be blamed,
adults will help them act quickly,
support matters more than punishment.
The more punitive a school’s response to image-sharing, the less likely children are to seek help when coercion begins.
What parents need to hear too
Parents do not need more panic.
They need a more accurate picture of what risk now looks like.
Many children targeted through sextortion are not reckless. They are not naive. They are not obviously vulnerable.
They are ordinary children in ordinary online spaces, being manipulated in developmentally ordinary ways.
That is what makes this a safeguarding issue.
The most dangerous things adults can still think is: "My child would never."
Useful resources
This video is an age-appropriate, accessible and helpful resource for parents and staff to understand sextortion, warning signs and how to act.
Report Remove is a UK tool run by the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) in partnership with Childline and the NSPCC that helps children and young people report sexual images or videos of themselves online and request their removal. It provides a confidential way to get content taken down from the internet and offers emotional support to anyone affected, helping reduce shame and prevent further harm or circulation.
The safeguarding shift schools cannot afford to miss
The most important safeguarding shift here is not simply that sextortion is increasing.
It is that the profile of risk is changing — and many adults are still working from an older script.
If schools continue to frame online sexual harm only through the language of “nudes”, poor choices and peer pressure, they will miss what children are actually facing.
And right now, too many of those children are boys.
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